33 Reasons Why You Have Found Your Soul Mate

  1. Your first conversation on the phone was like one long sentence. Serendipity is the name of your game. Each pause was so brief that it was barely noticeable. You could not stop sharing your interests with them or listening to them share their interests. In fact, you could not believe that this person had such similar interests as you and that they were so interesting!
  2.  When you finally went on that first date, it was epic. Sure, you had a great time. You got to know each other a lot better. But more than that…in the back of your mind…on some level…you just knew.
  3. Your first meal together: no matter how hungry you were, you could barely eat anything because of the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. And when you could finally share a meal together without that swarm of  butterflies, you found out something else. When you’re sharing a dessert, she always offers you the late bit of ice cream at the bottom of the bowl. The same way you will always offer her the last piece of cake, or the last cookie.
  4. You both have the same Love Language. If her Love Language is Quality Time, so is yours! If his Love Language is Acts of Service, so is yours! Or, maybe you both share the Love Languages of Physical Affection or Words of Affirmation. No matter which ones you share, you find out quickly that you are so far ahead of the game in compatibility, that other couples would be jealous if they knew.
  5. Your life goals track educationally. Either you both have finished college or you are both in college. Either you both are out of high school and have no interest in going to college, or you are both firmly established in your careers. No matter what phase you are in, you are pleased to discover that your potential life partner is in the same phase.
  6. Even if you differ in specific political views, you at least approach politics from the same direction. You both either believe in big government or small government, helping people or not helping people, and you both have the same general idea of what freedom looks like and what it means to be free. So, even if you support different parties or candidates, you tend to do so for almost the exact same reasons.
  7. You are quick to defend each other. When one of you feels like the other is being attacked or bullied or even belittled, the other is the first to come to their aid, providing support in whatever way is needed.
  8. She’ll ask about how your day went and then waits to let you tell her all about it. She seldom interrupts and then only with conscientious questions or offers of encouragement. While this is new to you, you quickly come to realize that this is what a healthy relationship looks like. And you are only too happy to reciprocate.
  9. Your first kiss, no matter how clumsy or awkward, opens your eyes to an important fact: Not only do you not want to stop kissing her for the rest of the date…you also realize that you really don’t want to stop kissing her for the rest of your life…This thought both surprises and excites you.
  10. You love to dress up and look nice for each other. You like him in a suit and you love wearing that special dress for him when you are dining at a fine restaurant. BUT you also love him in jeans or sweats and a t-shirt. And you are so happy that he loves seeing you being comfortable in your favorite sweat shirt and no make-up.
  11. Life happens. You both get so busy with work, errands, children, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. But you ALWAYS make time for each other.
  12. Their name comes up in conversation at least once whenever you are talking to anyone. Because they are now part of your story.
  13. Every couple has “our show” which you watch together and neither of you would ever dream of watching an episode individually and skipping ahead of the other…and THAT is love.
  14. He opens the car door for you. He holds the doors at restaurants, stores, etc. for you. When you are sitting down to eat, it does not matter if you are in a 5 star restaurant or at home with just the two of grabbing a quick bite around the kitchen table. He pulls out the chair for you. Every. Single. Time.
  15. You are a true team. Whenever an issue arises, the problem at hand is the focal point. You do not blame each other when life happens. You partner together to resolve whatever crisis presents itself.
  16. You love planning a grand adventure requiring a great deal of resources of both time and money…but you get equal enjoyment from seemingly mundane chores such as going to the grocery store…all that matters is that you are together.
  17. She steals your shirts…and looks damn good in them.
  18. You don’t complete each other. You weren’t really looking for a serious relationship when fate dropped the two of you in each other’s lives. You were complete before you met. You were adulting successfully and you were happy. But after just a few dates (or, in some cases, after the First Date!) you honestly cannot imagine your life without them.
  19. In fact, you both probably started planning a future with each other long before you admitted it to either yourself or each other…
  20. She laughs at your stupid jokes and puns. She laughs because you are so over the top cheesy and goofy. She just loves how ridiculous you are.
  21. The morning texts he sends you and the sweet texts he sends you randomly throughout the day, puts a smile on your face. Others even comment on how happy you are all the time.
  22. You have pet names and nicknames for each other that sound crazy when other people overhear you. What might sound like an insult to others is something that you have incorporated into your dialogue for some reason or another. These names are nothing more or less than terms of endearment.
  23. Hair a mess, no make-up, but there is something about the way the light touches her eyes when she is looking at you…it just kinda takes your breath away.
  24. You both had less than ideal relationships in the past. You’ve both built up walls in one form or another as a defense mechanism, a form of self-protection that was necessary at the time. You may have even given up on the whole concept of love as a thing. But none of that matters now. Now that you’re together, all the walls have come down. The intimacy and vulnerability that seemed so scary before now somehow feels safe.
  25. You are each other’s biggest cheerleader. You freely give each other encouragement to dream big dreams and achieve incredible goals. You not only bring out the best in each other naturally, you also challenge each other to go beyond your respective comfort zones and grow as individuals.
  26. You can not only finish each other’s sentences more often than not, but you have taken it to a whole ‘nother level. When others are talking to you and you are both there, you both have a tendency to respond with the same word or phrase at exactly the same time.
  27. You’re blown away that she not only likes super-hero movies, but that she can also speak intelligently on the subject of DC vs. Marvel, the Justice League vs. Avengers/ X-Men, etc. She’s also pleasantly surprised by your enjoyment of romantic-comedies.
  28. You know his strengths and defer to him when a problem requires something in his skill set. At the same time, you know your own strengths and have no problem asserting yourself when necessary.
  29. You’ve seen each other at your worst, and you are not phased at all. You’re not going anywhere. You wouldn’t dream of it. Not being together is something that you cannot even fathom.
  30. The crazy things you say, half-jokingly, are given thoughtful, if amused, consideration by the other.
  31. When you are with each other, it just feels like home. Doesn’t matter where you are. You always have that feeling of belonging when you are together.
  32. You both look up sappy romantic blogs and articles with titles like ‘Ways to Tell if You Have Found Your Soul Mate’ and send them to each other…
  33. You had certain plans for the future that did not include meeting your soulmate. Now those plans have all gone to shit. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jefferson Holbrook, DSC, received a Doctor of Science in Communications from Tudor College of Earlscroft University. He also holds a Bachelor of Arts in English and a Bachelor of Arts in History from Kennesaw State University as well as a Master of Arts in Organizational Management from the University of Phoenix. He has published numerous essays, articles, poems, short stories and blogs. He is also the author of two collections of poetry. He lives with his family in the southeastern United States.

Connect!

My First Blog:      http://jbhpoetry.blogspot.com/

Twitter:                 @jbh418

Facebook:              facebook.com/jeffersonh

© Copyright 2017 Jefferson Brian Holbrook and Kingdom of the Son. All rights reserved.

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When I Say “I Miss You…”

When I Say “I Miss You…”

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When I say I miss you, I mean,

I miss the way I feel when we kiss.

I miss the sight of you in my eyes.

I miss the vision of you in my mind.

My fingertips miss the touch of your skin.

My mouth misses the ruby red of your lips.

Other people can keep all the dandelion seeds,

I don’t need wishes or dreams anymore…

not where I’m headedimg_20170510_153217252_34582475006_o

Let other lovers lie to each other and themselves,

hiding behind words always left  unsaid.

My ears miss our conversation full of strong gentle words:

mostly confessions, musings, and music.

I miss the steady gaze… the care, the love–

your eyes full of starlight stop my breath when you stare…

my hands miss holding the brown and black gold of your hair.

My feet are not cold:  when faced with glory or

another short chapter in the story of my life

the only sin would be in not going where God has led them.

27946070322_7a44a7a8bb_oLet the ones who have zeroes and commas

on their bottom line enjoy all the riches of this world.

Let those who crave fame have their flames fanned

by the applause of all the hands on the planet.

Let those who hunger for power instead of bread

slowly grow cold with the need for control…

I would rather be loving you instead.

The Beginning

new profile scruffy

 

Jefferson Holbrook, DSC, received a Doctor of Science in Communications from Tudor College of Earlscroft University and has published numerous essays, articles, poems, short stories and blogs. He is also the author of two collections of poetry. He lives with his family in the southeastern United States.

Connect!

My First Blog:      http://jbhpoetry.blogspot.com/

Twitter:                 @jbh418

Facebook:              facebook.com/jeffersonh

© Copyright 2017 Jefferson Brian Holbrook and Kingdom of the Son. All rights reserved.

Brighter

brighter

 

My goal has always been to inspire, motivate, and encourage through my photography and writing, please leave a comment below if you have a chance. I welcome the feedback!

J

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Jefferson Holbrook, DSC, received a Doctor of Science in Communications from Tudor College of Earlscroft University and has published numerous essays, articles, poems, short stories and blogs. He is also the author of two collections of poetry. He lives with his boys in the southeastern United States.

Connect!

My First Blog:      http://jbhpoetry.blogspot.com/

Twitter:                 @jbh418

Facebook:              facebook.com/jeffersonh

© Copyright 2016 Jefferson Brian Holbrook and Kingdom of the Son. All rights reserved.

 

The Fine Art of Fibbering

The Fine Art of Fibbering

New! Top Ten Things to Do to Make 2016 the Worst Year Ever!

by Jefferson Holbrook, DSC.

— Step # 5 Lying! —

 

Just a quick recap: As part of the Self-Help articles (Selfish-Helpless), we have so far learned 4 key ways to make 2016 our Worst Year Ever!
1. Complaining
2. Blaming
3. Procrastinating
4. Holding Grudges
“Drums, Please!!” MI0002815812

[I couldn’t resist…because it’s almost “Summertime”!]
The 5th way (fifth wave?) we can ensure that 2016 is our Worst Year Ever is by lying!  Let’s talk terms. I have to say that I am not a huge fan of the term “dishonest.” When I am accused of being dishonest, it sounds a little like I am being dissed. I prefer the term “honesty-challenged.” This slight prevarication is similar to what is employed when people use the term “vertically-challenged” to refer to short folks.

My young son has a unique way with words himself and has coined a useful term for not being truthful. He calls it “fibbering.” I like this term because it sounds playful and that works here because, as we will see, there is a lot of fun to be had by lying. We’ll explore later how lying can destroy our relationships and friendships, thereby giving us a lot more time to ourselves.

Think of all the work we could get done or errands we can run (including, but not limited to, sobbing wordlessly at random stop signs around the city) if we did not have those pesky loved ones in our lives.

To get started, let’s see what the experts have to say about lying… “But better to be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” Khaled Hosseini

To be fair, there’s nothing particularly comforting about Pinocchio’s lies. He’s not really fun at dinner parties when he’s going on and on about how great his new job is and he is OBVIOUSLY lying. pinnochio pic

So what happens? His nose keeps growing, slapping drinks out of people’s hands, knocking over lamps, etc.
Mark Twain had a famous quote about lying. “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
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Although it does seem to be a variation on this notion put forth by Winston S. Churchill. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
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Ironically lying is quite called for when someone is showing you photos of their newborn who actually LOOKS like Winston S. Churchill, and you are required by current social convention to affirm that the baby does in fact look “cute.”
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So, which is it: pants or shoes? Perhaps both Twain and Churchill were thinking of a truth that needs to dress itself up, maybe in order to appear more believable? Sometimes, quite literally, the truth is not quite as believable as a lie. The whole story about George Washington chopping down a cherry tree, then lying about it, then coming clean in a moment of soul-searching, forgiveness-seeking, noble glory, is totes fiction. This story was manufactured by a reporter at the time whose intention was to help create a mythos around political figures in an effort to create heroes for a young country to emulate and idolize.
george-washington-cherry-tree-george-washington
“I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.” S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders
But how can we use lying to destroy our relationships, you might be wondering? Well, your relationships might not be on the firmest footing anyway. This concept of a lie being more believable than the truth needs to be explored further. Try this experiment with your significant other person. Tell them some wonderful news that you just got a raise or a new job or even that you just won some award. Do they seem excited and enthusiastic, or suspicious and skeptical?
Then, tell them some outrageous lie about some horrible thing you have done.images Which did they find the more believable? If they elect to believe the truth about your good news then there is hope for you crazy cats. If, however, they opt to swallow the line about something horrible that you have done, then your relationship is going south faster than a spicy burrito…

 

One of my favorite authors, Stephen King, says that “Fiction is the truth inside the lie.” Albert Camus affirms this when he says that “Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth.” No story or movie or book would ever be successful without a simple step of mental agility. This particular maneuver has quite the clever name as well, Willing Suspension of Disbelief.The-dark-tower-From-Stephen-King
To enjoy the show at the cinema, to voraciously consume page after delicious page of a great novel, we must be willing to entertain, if but for a moment, that incredible fact that what we are being shown or told, is in fact happening, or in some circumstances, could happen.
I know what you’re saying, “Lying sounds great, but I’m just not good at it!” Never fear, I’m here to help.
How do we learn to lie if we are not, by nature, dishonest people? Well, Virginia Woolf points us in the right direction (and who’s afraid of her?) when she said “If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” This is important. Lying begins with us. If we don’t lie about ourselves, to ourselves, then how can we expect to be able to effectively fib to others?

And, remember, you can not spell “families” without “lies.”

You might be thinking, “Hey, didn’t I hear somewhere that bad things might happen if you lie?” To that I have to say, “Whatev.” Consequences? Schmonsequences!
naipaul
V. S. Naipaul, noted in his book In a Free State, that “The only lies for which we are truly punished are those we tell ourselves.” This is great news! As long as we keep some kind of track of what lies we tell ourselves we can perhaps mitigate the consequences of lying to ourselves. Sociopaths make this look so easy. Their extreme emotional compartmentalization skills set the bar pretty high when it comes to lying.

To sum up, start small. So called white lies are great starters. Lie about the weather, whether that outfit is flattering to your mate, then move on to medium sized lies like age and income. A key rationalization here is to tell yourself that you are just lying to spare someone’s feelings! Before long, you’ll be lying about your whereabouts, inventing intricate histories involving people and places that don’t even exist!

The benefits are obvious, but let me reiterate. Not only is lying poisonous to relationships and friendships, but employers and customers don’t seem to like it much either. So, if you are successful in this 5th concept, you can lose not only your friends, and family, but also your job, and maybe one day your freedom! Then you have truly trashed your year and made 2016 Your Worst Year Ever!

new profile scruffy

Jefferson Holbrook, DSC, received a Doctor of Science in Communications from Tudor College of Earlscroft University and has published numerous essays, articles, poems, short stories and blogs. He is also the author of two collections of poetry. He lives with his family in the southeastern United States.

@jbh418

facebook.com/jeffersonh

© Copyright 2016 Jefferson Brian Holbrook and Kingdom of the Son. All rights reserved.